Sunday, February 04, 2007

My Story has Changed

I'm surprised at the amount of feedback I receive from people who read my blog, especially since I post on it so rarely. However, I can't tell you the amount of times I have started to post something and then had to leave it unfinished because I had to do something else more urgent.

There are a lot of things I could talk about in this post—my recent trip to Turkey, how seminary classes are going, our new church, my new ministry internship, etc., etc. All of these are good things! Since this is one of my rare posts, I want to use it to tell you about the BEST thing that has ever happened to me. In the process you will learn a little about me and why I titled this post MY STORY HAS CHANGED.

ME
As most of you know I grew up in a small town in Texas called Gatesville. My parents were Christians and every time the door of the church was open we were there—Sunday morning & evening, Wednesday nights and special events as well. Church was a way of life for me. Every Sunday I heard the message that I had sinned against God and because of that I was going to Hell. But I also heard that if I believed in Jesus then God would forgive me and I could go to heaven. I greatly feared Hell. By the age of 7 I walked down an aisle during church, prayed "to receive Jesus" (as we often say in church), and then I was baptized a few weeks later. I was now officially a Christian in everyone's eyes, including my own.

As I grew up I read the Bible occasionally and I prayed most nights. I didn't really understand the Bible though and when I prayed I always asked God to do something for me. By the time I was in Jr. High and High School I would beg God and bargain with Him to answer my prayers for some particular girl to like me and go out with me. In fact, during this time the most important thing to me was girls and popularity. I had moderate success in these areas. I always had a steady girlfriend and lots of people liked me.

Sounds like a Christian, right? Let's see, The only time I prayed was to get God to do what I wanted to do and I cared more about girls and what other people thought of me than about God. Also, I should mention that I fell into (or intentionally slid into) immorality with my girlfriend in highschool. I was a legalist though. In fact, I thought as long as I didn't sleep with my girlfriend then I wouldn't be damned to Hell because if there was one bad sin then that was probably it. I thought of myself as a good person. I might not have told you that because of having a false humility but deep down I thought I was a great person. I thought, "sure I sin, but not as much as so-and-so. I don't do what they do. I am better than most people I know. If there is someone going to heaven, it is me." In other words I thought good people (like me) go to heaven and bad people go to Hell.

Fast forward to college. My highschool girlfriend dumped me my freshman year. I tried to get other girlfriends, hoping to fill my needs, but they saw through my shallow desperateness. I was alone in a new town and depressed and angry at God. After a short time in a Christian cult I stopped going to churches all together. I didn't know what I believed anymore. I was burnt out on life and beginning to believe I wasn't a good person because I was doing some stuff I knew that was wrong.

Some other college Christians invited me to a church and I eventually went. These people were different because I could tell that they really wanted to follow Christ. They didn't date, they read the Bible and prayed. They were excited about God. There was something they had that I wanted. Through this church I went to a program that lasted all summer in Myrtle Beach, SC. One night there I remember lying on my face alone at the beach and praying something like this:
"Oh God, please forgive me! I have ruined my life. I try to stop lusting and sinning but I can't. I am so sick of me. Please forgive me. Jesus wash me clean by your blood. Take my sin away. Please God, I am so tired of running my life. I want to follow you. I want you to be the leader of my life. I will do anything you want me to do, just don't leave me to myself."
This is merely a paraphrase of probably an hour long prayer of crying out to God asking for His mercy. After years of sinning I knew I was no longer a good person and that I deserved Hell. My only hope was to throw myself on God's mercy and beg forgiveness. After all, I knew John 3:16 from childhood—that God had sent His son Jesus to die on a cross and pay for the sins of the world, for even a dirtbag and adulterer like me. However, up until this point I had trusted my own goodness—not in Jesus. My true attitude had been, "No thanks Jesus, I don't need you, I'm just fine."

That night was the BEST night of my life because the Creator and Judge of the Universe forgave me and made me a new creation. I was now born again. I had truly REPENTED of my sins—I was sorry for what I had done and I wanted to change but realized I could not without God. And I put my FAITH in JESUS—the only one to come down and die and rise again and ascend to majesty in heaven. Buddha didn't die to pay for my sins, Mohammed didn't rise from the dead. It was Jesus, God himself, alone who suffered on my behalf. In His righteousness alone could I stand before the Father and not be torn to pieces and damned to Hell. In my own good works, I would be shown for what I was—a false convert, one who had claimed the name of Christian but I had followed my own god of ME and what I wanted to do. I had drunk from the idol of lust and worshipped at the temple of popularity.

My life has been changed radically. God has given me new desires to follow Him. I read the Bible and it makes sense because I realize it applies to me. Now I pray and I realize that I am dependent on God for everything—my life, and my eternity. The Lord helped me to overcome the lust I had been enslaved to before. Life is not easy because it is hard to follow God. I am not perfect or sinless but God is growing me in holiness and gradually showing me new areas He wants to change. But I am FORGIVEN!

WHY in the world would I tell you all this stuff about me? Because I fear that many people, especially in America have grown up in or gone to church at some point. They have prayed a prayer, raised a hand, been baptized, been confirmed, etc. and they say they are a Christian. But they are FALSE CONVERTS like I was. God will send them to Hell because they are trying to earn their way to heaven. No one can stand before a perfect God and say anything. For example, if you have told 1 lie in your life, just 1, then you have broken God's law (Exodus 20:16) and God says all liars will have their part in the lake of fire (Rev. 21:8)

PLEASE, I beg you for your own sake to get right with the Creator of the universe tonight! You may die at any moment and you will stand before God in judgement (Hebrews 9:27). You're very soul and eternity is at stake. Remember you must REPENT (confess and turn away) from your sins and put your FAITH in Jesus Christ and His righteousness to save you. Jesus must become the Lord of all your life or He will not be your Lord at all.

Still think you are a good person? Take this test."
Check here to learn about false conversion. Listen to the audio file on that page.

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